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Agenda Bender
 
Friday, March 26, 2004  

Surgical Puppet Cartoons, A Specialty


Rediscovered among the hills of books that provide a defense perimeter for my home.

International Motion Picture Almanac 1945-46 (Quigley Publishing Company, New York)

It's 970 pages of film industry facts, figures, documents and bios. There are also trade adverts, burnished by time, glowing throughout:

BELL PUNCH COMPANY, LTD
London and Uxbridge, Eng.

Specialists in the design and manufacture of

TICKET ISSUING MACHINES

_________________________________________

GB Animation LTD.
Producers of High Class
Diagrammatic Films
Technical Animation
Cartoon Animation
Puppet Cartoons etc., etc.
For the British film industry--and especially for H.M. Government (Service depts., etc.) and film productions concerned with Religion--Education--Industry--Medicine and Surgery--Entertainment

________________________________________

In the section that offers a city by city survey of censorship codes and freelance decency organizations, we learn this about mile high morality circa 1945:

DENVER--Police Department watches independent sex pictures closely, but does not censor general run pictures.

So there appears to have been no change in Denver (or most anywhere else) in 60 years.


8:37 PM

Thursday, March 25, 2004
 

The Sandy Slope


In yet another assault on the natural order, Santa Monica has banned smoking on the beach. This summer, smoking. Next summer, pissing in the ocean.

What humanity, or the Santa Monica branch of the tribe, will hereby lose. Two of my favorite pictures of my favorite person:

Ronnie battles the Jersey beach winds..

Ronnie trimphant stares down the sunset.

1:30 PM

 

Tessy Loedermann, The Butcher of Garmisch-Partenkirchen


The German reaction to a four-eared kitten:

Tessy Loedermann, head of the shelter, said Lilly will first be neutered and held at the shelter for another two weeks.

Lily, the last of her kind.

12:59 PM

 

BLOG GOG PIX CHIX FLICK TO CLICK BIG


I've never seen a movie trailer that convinced me as fast as this trailer did that the movie being hyped was going be a very big hit. Not that the preview itself is especially great (or funny), but the premise is a demographic marvel. And only the Wayan bros are pretty enough to make it work.

11:09 AM

Tuesday, March 23, 2004
 

Singer/Dancer/Actress/Author/Temponaut Detective


Madonna has slipstream-time-traveled to 1784 Versailles in order to investigate the Diamond Necklace Affair. She has never been satisfied with the standard historical accounts of that episode.

Scientists are now rushing to close the wormhole that Madonna teleported through. They are working against a blood-chilling deadline, the May kick-off of her 2004 World Tour. Some worry, however, that even a time-stranded Madonna would not be deterred, and they predict she would manage somehow to mount her world tour in 1784, with unknowable consequences for subsequent world history. Everyone agrees that the benefits outweigh the possible risks, though.

Madonna had previously chrono-vacationed in 12th century France with the express purpose of "fucking Abelard". Attempts to maroon her during that earlier trip proved unsuccessful when Heloise time-jumped forward and murdered three key members of the team working on the project.

12:00 PM

Sunday, March 21, 2004
 

Of Pride and Grace


They say pride cometh before a fall. In my experience it cometh at every stage of the fall--before, during, after, and long after. I am very proud of one line from a yo mama showdown I had the other day. I hadn't been in a mama war in many months, so the pent-up supply was torrential. I declared victory with this, though my opponent, whose mama I know and am fond of, lacked the grace, as always, to concede defeat:

Yo mama is such an old ho, her crabs need walkers.

1:22 PM