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Agenda Bender
 
Saturday, June 05, 2004  

His Match


Pope Scolds W

...Speaking with difficulty and at times slurring his words, the Pope condemned the "deplorable events" of recent weeks "which have troubled the civic and religious conscience of all." It was believed to be a reference to the abuse of Iraqis in the Abu Ghraib prison.

I'm fine with the Pope scolding the President, I just wish GB2 had scolded JP2 right back:

Speaking with difficulty and at times slurring his words, Bush condemned the "deplorable events" of recent decades "which have troubled the civic and religious conscience of all." It was believed to be a reference to the abuse of children in the Abu Ghraib parish.


6:05 AM

Thursday, June 03, 2004
 

Love Sweeps In


From a Courtney Love item in the April 5, 2004 edition of the National Enquirer (I like to let my gossip sit at room temperature for a couple months, or years, before consuming):

After leaving the TV studio, Love swept into a Wendy's at Union Square and roared at bewildered patrons, "What are YOU looking at?"--lifting her shirt to reveal a bare breast, a Wendy's source told THE ENQUIRER.

I don't know which I love more, the image of someone, anyone, sweeping into a Wendy's, or the forging of that new link on the insider foodchain, a Wendy's source.

The same issue of the National Enquirer included this thought-provoking headline. Take it as a warning, girls. Or your possible salvation, boys:

SECRET TO SARAH JESSICA PARKER'S GORGEOUS MANE---HORSE SHAMPOO

8:28 PM

Wednesday, June 02, 2004
 

Put This In The Pile Of Brain Pattern Studies


I am not a hoarder, I'm a collector. One of the things I collect is hoarders, though.

Hoarders Show Unique Brain Pattern, Study Finds

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - New research into the brain patterns of compulsive hoarders shows the disorder may have been misclassified and victims could be getting the wrong treatment, U.S. scientists reported on Tuesday.

The right treatment is an injection of more Ikea shelving into their living quarters.

The hoarders had unique activity, including less activity in brain regions known as the posterior cingulate gyrus and cuneus, they reported.

OMG, entire regions of unused space. I've got boxes of 45's and 78's that would probably just fit in the posterior cingulate and cuneus. I mean my roommate does.

12:07 PM

Tuesday, June 01, 2004
 

The Glummer Twins or Der Spiegel Crack'd


I am such a schadenfreude piker. Two reporters from the storied land that gave us the term show us how it's really done.

Olaf Ihlau and Volkhard Windfuhr are the Agenda Bender schadendudes of the day. May the gentle breeze that named them loft their teutonic souls to the rocky heights where eagles nest. Dig the deja vu, you two.

1:55 PM

Sunday, May 30, 2004
 

The Amours Of Chuck Baudelaire


Turner Classic Movies and American Movie Classics are in full, costume-department battle gear this Memorial Day weekend. Fox Movie Channel fights back in its Beetle Bailey way by programming whatever. You don't get more whatever than The Loves of Edgar Allen Poe (1942). Halliwell's deadpan death cert:

The famous writer marries his childhood sweetheart but becomes an alcoholic.

The movie stars John Shepperd and Linda Darnell. John plays Edgar. He looks a little bit like Poe, but acts uncannily like John Shepperd. In the five minutes that I watched, the title character was referred to as Eddie about ten times.

If the movie fails Poe as art, it is truer to Poe as artifact. Eddie would have appreciated the mysterious discrepancy in the cast lists that I quickly discovered. The movie features either John Shepperd or Shepperd Strudwick, depending on where you search. Halliwell and the DirecTV scroll both claim John Shepperd impersonated Poe. The FMC program guide and Movies.com say it was Shepperd Strudwick. The safe bet is Mr Strudwick re-christened himself John Shepperd at the start of his career. Or the studio did it for him. The hard money bet would be over his reason for changing it back.

The Films Of Shep Strudwick



4:54 PM