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The Public Blogging of Pomosexuality, Homotextuality, Homophobiaphilia, and Drear Theory (aka Career Theory) [aka Gay4Pay]. We also read the Corner and OpJournal so the right buttock will be punished as well.
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Ok, I've been on the sidelines, but now I'm calling you out, Mr. BUSH! This war has cost us all in ways we can't even begin to calculate. And sent some of us spiraling back into drug dependency. And onto the concert stage. You smelling the infamy yet, GWB? Is that blood on your hands, Mr. President? Or icing from the red velvet anniversary cake that never got baked? Is that a field of white crosses, sir, or just a Marc Jacob handbag full of them?
Word that the celebrity couple had split came four months after they called off plans for a splashy wedding anniversary party, citing the looming war with Iraq, and Minnelli's subsequent admission into a rehab program. 12:19 AM
Friday, July 25, 2003
The Politech list linked this very good article about hard drive cops (aka hard dicks), and how they find the files that dummies think they deleted for good. It includes some ninja-nanny state advice (with Bette Davis starring as Big Pseudo-Mother) from Sharon Nelson, the president of Sensei Enterprises, a computer forensics firm. President Nelson is the cautious sort:
Nelson said she counsels clients to imagine an e-mail being published in a newspaper, on a billboard and being read by the author's mother. If it passes all three tests, then send it.
Why not imagine it tattooed on the Pope's forehead while we've got our imagineering caps on?
Or shouted into the ears of the blind? (Did I mention they were shackled, too?)
Or all your ancestors gathered together reading it in hell?
Sharon lets her clients down with her lack of animating vision. How banal, how typically techie. Her clients will be long gone up the river while Agenda Bender's clients are water skiing on it.
Man, I've always disliked the Offspring's super-attenuated laff-punk. But they have certainly perpetrated the joke of the year of the sheep. They've announced that their new record is going to be called Chinese Democracy. Which is, of course, also the name of the tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow disasterpiece from Paxil Nose's new model Gums'N Poses. (The Offspring's press release is months old, but I only just learned of it via popbitch.)
God, that is so hilarious. All is forgiven, Offspring. You can skateboard and bar chord till you're 80 (which is approximately next year), and I will not snicker. The world is forever in your debt.
Except: When The Offspring announced their hostile takeover of Chinese Democracy back in March, they were saying their record would be out in late spring. Their webpage still claims it will be released in early summer. The curse of Chinese Democracy may yet triumph. Or maybe it's a double pleasure. They give us the genius of the joke, but they spare us the record that goes with it.
Thursday, July 24, 2003
The most desperate thing I've ever done in a motel room (as of 10am, 7/24/03):
Watched Bruce Vilanche get his beard cut off on LIVE with Regis and Kelly. To be honest, I missed the end. But I saw all the prep work and the first few go-bys. Check-out time was 10am sharp, and I didn't want to mess with the Chinese granny who ran the joint. The dragon lady saved me in a way. My l'il China non-doll. My bitter, glowering angel. Let your frown be my umbrella.
And so do our guardians and saviors come to earth in the most unexpected forms.
Man: You are a Scottish born, American raised, writer, explorer, naturalist and pioneering conservationist. You are John Muir.
Dog: You are odd-looking, adventurous, mysterious, brave and wise. You are Stickeen.
Book: You are short, lovely, icy, thrilling and almost a hundred years old. You were first a magazine article, but are available now in several editions as a toy book. You are also Stickeen.
You can read the tale online here, but I'm glad I didn't. It was a dream to read this story I'd never before heard of when I came across it in a pile of books my sister brought to the cabin I was staying in a couple weeks ago. The story of John Muir and this dog fighting for their lives on glacier while a blizzard raged and darknesss closed in was made for a summer night in the woods. Though it probably works just as well on Spring, Fall and Winter evenings, in cities and suburbs, on a mountain or beside an ocean.
Stickeen is the Agenda Bender dude of the year for 1880. The year the perilous adventure took place.
And I must now read Muir's other recollections.
Monday, July 21, 2003
The Stars in Their Unknowable Courses
I've said before how much I enjoy the culture created by AOL users, but I've neglected to mention how little use I have for the content AOL creates itself. Content seems like a misprint for contempt, given what AOL regularly cranks out. AOL asked this question in a weekend news poll about Kobe Bryant's indictment for rape.
Are you surprised about the charges against Kobe?
o Yes, he's the last celebrity I would expect to be tied to a crime.
o Somewhat, but we don't know what the stars are really like.
o No, anyone's capable of anything.
That anyone's would also appear to be a misprint. Replaced with AOL's, it makes a more a propos point.
Sunday, July 20, 2003
Get Out Your Handkerchiefs
It was my birfday
It was my birfday
I didn't party
On my birfday
Didn't drink Bacardi
On my birfday
Cos I forgot
It was my birfday
It was my birfday ---Dollah and a Quartah
(Forgot About My Birfday)