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Agenda Bender
 
Saturday, September 18, 2004  

The Interdepartmental Saints


Canonization by agency seal: Saint Swecker, Our Agent of the Perpetual Borrowers. Such icronic images are a common accifact of the age.

(Yes, two new words are born above. I expect they'll die above, as well).

9:11 PM

Friday, September 17, 2004
 

Pimp My Child


Bravo, Rising Hegemon.*

The credulous and smarmy response to this ridiculous incident and ludicrous photograph by the Bush leaning blogs is, well, reminiscent of the whimpering credulity that Kerry bloggers display over similar faux outrages perpetrated against their team. Except daddy direst beats the others cold.

The hang-dog misery on the face of the shirt-sleeved Christ with the wide-gage tie, who used his three year old daughter as an ideological tease at a John Edwards campaign stop, is as morally suspect a pose as I've ever gazed upon. And I'm somewhat of an authority on those. I own a mirror, afterall.

Dad does deserve credit for charting new territories in the empire of familial userdom, even if Hegemon's further (and plausible) speculations on the mise-en-scene don't pan out.

* Update: I originally bravo'ed Eschaton. I was so excited by the post on Atrios's page that I skimmed over his attribution of the entire thing to Rising Hegemon.


8:42 PM

 

Rabbit Ears of Light


WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Researchers said on Friday they have invented an antenna that captures visible light in much the same way that radio antennas capture radio waves.

...Yang Wang and colleagues at Boston College used carbon nanotubes, which are microscopic structures built out of carbon atoms.


Yang Wang is the Agenda Bender dude of the day and name of the week.

8:34 PM

 

When Captain Crunch Comes In Peace


At the new dollar store in my neighborhood (yaaayyy!) they carry a full line of Egyptian breakfast cereals with colorful, japanimationish, internationally-bland, generically-human, childish figures on the front. There's Sweet Flakes, Choco Pops, Choco Rice, Fruit Loops and others. They fill me with optimism.



8:18 PM

Thursday, September 16, 2004
 

Sitting In the Dock of Old Bailey


Roxy Music's Prairie Rose sounded more perfect than usual when it came blaring unexpectedly out of my Toyota Corolla factory installed booming system today. The blare wasn't unexpected, I was in control of that, but I certainly hadn't foreseen the tune.

Bryan Ferry's son Otis was one of the cool'igans who burst into parliament yesterday in protest of the Laborious ban on fox hunting. Otis has been a tabloid bait in the Uk for several years--rock star dad, semi-strung-out, society-hottie ma. It's a great rags to riches, nags to thoroughbreds story. Bryan's dad was a Durham farmhand turned miner, and now his son is a passionate devotee of the landed sports.

Ah, Country Life.

You'll want to know that Bryan's other kids are named Isaac, Tara and Merlin (I have very high hopes for the Merlster), and that Bryan and Otis's ma, Lucy, are now exes.


8:21 PM

 

Shaggy Guard Story


I'm creating a whole portfolio of bogus Texas Air National Guard documents, in Word, Corel, Claris, Appleworks, Abiword, Kword, Open Office, Flwriter, Ted and EZ, detailing the official sanction of the special rules of engagement afforded GWB during his sporadic service.

When I am done I will fax the lot of them to CBS from the Kinko's closest to the White House, under the cover sheet title, The Protocols for The Eldest Bush Scion.

8:06 PM

Tuesday, September 14, 2004
 

Dead Men Can't Shut Up


The memos are fake, and the memories are shaky. The controversy over the true thoughts and actual words of Lt. Col. Jerry Killian (TexANG, expired) circa 1972 boils down to the bare bones of a classic he said, he dead story.

6:58 PM

 

What Would Charlie Do?


Thanks to hurricane coverage on MSNBC, I now know that the Attorney General of Florida is named Charlie Christ. You'll join me, I'm sure, in hoping that the AG proceeds victoriously up the foodchain of state and national politics.

Charlie Christ is the snow-headed gentleman just left of Job Bush, the squirrel-cheeked gentleman holding the mic, in this sacred portrait. The enraptured woman to the right of Job is, of course, Bunny Magdalene.

Update: Fuk, Fuk, Fuk. MSNBC got it wrong, they misspelled Charlie's name onscreen when they were ID'ing him during his interview. It's really Charlie Crist.

Whose campaign buttons I will now never wear.

It's not a first for this mistake. He is beatified in the caption of the pic I linked above, too.

UpdateII: OK, what moses-in-the-bullrushes-game is Charlie playing here? Google's top result for "Charlie Christ" is, Florida Attorney General - Home Page

Does he campaign as Christ in the swamps and Crist in the cities? Is he Christ on cable and Crist for broadcast?



5:21 PM

Monday, September 13, 2004
 

Dirty Company of the Day


A quite interesting post by Bjorn Staerk about Norwegian reaction to Statoil, the Norwegian energy giant (<--rejected fairy-tale title), being placed on the list of dirty dozen concerns that do business with terrorist regimes led me to look at the list itself.

My prize for making that effort was to learn of this French delight:

Technip Coflexip

Technip Coflexip, one of France's largest engineering and construction companies, is extensively involved in the energy sectors of Iran and Libya. The company's projects in these countries could total as much as $400 million, and possibly more, depending on the status of contracts and letters of intent recently negotiated with Iranian companies.


Technip Coflexip, The Engineering Elf (another rejected fairy-tale title)

coflexip,coflexip bo blexnip
bonano fanna fo flexnip
fee fie mo flexip
coflexip.

Everybody do ENI SPA!
Pretty good, let's do Hyundai!
Very good, let's do Siemens AG!
A little trick with Lundin Petroleum!


1:11 AM

Sunday, September 12, 2004
 

The Date Stamp Checks Out


It only gets worse. The white-haired Black Rock boys are gonna rock W's world one more time.

It's just a few weeks before the Republican convention in 2000. George has it wrapped up, he knows it, and he doesn't care who knows he knows it. He might care now, though.

GWB didn't fall off the wagon. He danced off it. Then under and around it.

4:44 AM

 

Carl Orff Says You're Gay


He saw your test results, it seems.

3:54 AM