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The Public Blogging of Pomosexuality, Homotextuality, Homophobiaphilia, and Drear Theory (aka Career Theory) [aka Gay4Pay]. We also read the Corner and OpJournal so the right buttock will be punished as well. All comments subject to publication. Or dismissal. Or Both.


Your Disciplinarians: Glenda Benda (Philapa), Amber Waves (Kansaster), Polly Morpheus (Dreamsville), Tess Tosterone (D'Urbervilles)



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Agenda Bender
Saturday, August 24, 2002  


I have of course just figured out how to put titles on posts.

Not that i've been trying to figure this out for the last month. I finally felt the need, looked it up, and it was soooo simple. Too simple. I only wish I could control the Lindbergh baby stature of these headers. Just a simple bold title is all I was trying for.

2:12 AM


Theory of the Gay Angle/ The Imclone Weeks

The challenge in the Martha Stewart story is to find the straight angle.

2:05 AM


Theory of The Gay Angle/ The Enron Years

Planetout reports that the man getting all the headlines this week as the first Enron exec to plead guilty, Michael Kopper, is "openly
gay". A google search shows only a dozen or so hits for "Michael Kopper"+Enron+gay and most of those are coincidental hits (the article was written by "Eric Gay", or "gay" was used on the page but not in relationship to Mr Kopper.)

Planetout is one of very few sources that made mention of Kopper's pref in it's coverage of his disgarce. So that phrase "openly gay" might need revising. Kopper might be open but those covering him overwhelmingly ignored that aspect of his life. And why should they make mention of it? Well, it's interesting to a fair number of people, always reason enough to make mention of any extraneous fact in a news story. His romantic partner was also a business partner in the deal that reaped the biggest payoff--$125,000 into $10,000,000 in a year's time, so the fact wasn't really extraneous anyway. And the personal lives of the other Enron felons in waiting have certainly been revealed. Mrs. Ken Lay was America's anti-sweetheart for a few hot Houston minutes earlier this year.

But the media could have been slammed for mentioning MK's sexuality, too. Infamous homosexual financial officers aren't exactly what the pride committee has in mind when picking the next grand marshal and marchesa.

The Planetout article claims that the entity Kopper created and profited from was called Chewco. Other sources say it was really called Chewbacca. So Kopper is outed as a Star Wars geek. All in all a bad week for Michael K.

1:51 AM

Thursday, August 22, 2002
Got this from a yahoo porn group I'm on. That particular group, as this poll indicates, skews young/blonde. Which is not my main skew, but you gotta keep a hand in, I always say.

Ryan Phillipe's PR people should do a release on this. Surprisingly strong finish. Buckingham Palace has already scheduled a press conference, I'm sure.

POLL QUESTION: Which Male Celebrity would you love to
spend the night with?

- Leonardo DiCaprio, 7 votes, 11.48%
- Brad Pitt, 1 votes, 1.64%
- Marky Mark, 10 votes, 16.39%
- Matt Damon, 2 votes, 3.28%
- Ryan Phillipe, 17 votes, 27.87%
- Prince William, 22 votes, 36.07%
- None of the above, 2 votes, 3.28%

5:14 PM

Wednesday, August 21, 2002
I set some rules for myself when I started this, one post a day, don't look for things to post--if they don't come to you just don't post, and keep it gay. This last only because blogging every stray thought and opinion is just too, too vain. Too vain is fine but the extra too takes it TOO far.

So I sent this story to Instapundit since I couldn't think of a gay way in, so to speak. Since he didn't use it and I love it so, I thought again and came up with what I will call the Dreher Exemption. Just as big Rod D at the Corner posts all evidence of gay depravity and dysfunction I can post this under cover of exposing the essential sleaziness of heterosexual love. I don't believe that of course, but I think I will make an effort to match Mr Dreher from now on. (Just heard that Mr Westerfield, a heterosexual man and father, was convicted of murdering 7 year old Danielle van Dam--that sort of thing).

In short, the Democratic minority leader of the Pa. house was trying to prevent the wife who jilted him, who was a Pa. political player herself as a bigtime lobbyist, from ever getting a lobbying job in the Harrisburg again. OK, just tawdry personal vendetta politics as usual. But said minority leader writes a hilarious bash note to the lobbyist who ended up violating the ban on hiring the ex-wife. A letter in prose so purple Prince could paint his house with it.

Read it and keep reminding yourself it was written in 2002, not 1902. Or 1802. Kinda makes me proud of my state. God knows Dick Gephardt, or Denny Hastert for that matter, never could have written it. I think it's even beyond Trafficant's hyperbolic super powers.

And my baby, he wrote me a letter:

Dear Mr. Wojdak (former colleague.former friend):

Let's cut to the chase ... you sir, are a liar. The measure of the person in our enterprise is his word. When a man comes to my Capitol Hill enclave and stands beneath that impressive chandelier of gold, looks me in the eye with a gimlet gaze, shakes my hand with a sturdy grip and gives me his word, to me it's axiomatic that the gentleman is telling the truth. You are an abject, ignoble, mendacious knave!

On Monday, June 17 at 1:37 in the afternoon, you trundled into my office and gave me your word about a very personal matter (the
Harrisburg political cognoscenti are well aware of the entire phenomenon and the details are irrelevant to this incendiary missive).

You are a lobbyist of arrogant and impressive bearing. That opaque exterior studded with starched shirts, minimalist monograms and expensive cufflinks has always been hard to trust. That's why I asked you, as you made your way to the door, "Steve, this is no bull----?" And with that wry smile you countered, "No bull----, Bill." Now, your lie is encased in history. The 14 Leaders, Committee Chairs and rank and file members that had talked to you and your team were duly notified on paper, remember? You asked me to track them all down and tell them about our meeting.

Mr. Wojdak, I do not know how you could shave this morning. Not only were you untruthful with me, but you indirectly lied to the Speaker, the Pro Tem, floor Leaders, Appropriations Chairmen, rank and file members, and many other people you do business with, day in and day out. As a former member of the House (a guy lucky enough to get to hang out with Buster and Tony any time he wants to) your egregious lie is even more a cause for indignation and rebuke.

Am I nettled? Yes, I am mildly and momentarily discomfited by your perfidy; however, like Pharaoh, I'll harden my heart and life will go on. I never expected Steve Wojdak to help create a better human order, but I never thought that the wily, vain-glorious, popinjay would be capable of such a scorching, feverish, convulsive, bespangled lie. Ben Franklin once observed, "A change of fortune hurts a wise man no more than a change of the moon." I'm going to take Ben's advice, but there will be one slight change in my modus operandi. I don't ever want anything to do with you. You are not welcome in my ambit. Your ethical
underpinnings are non-existent, and by this gross untruth you have perpetrated, you have mounted the rostrum of shame. Steve Wojdak, the word "liar" will hang around your neck as an albatross, as massive and irremovable as the foothills of the Himalayas.

Guardian of my own honor,
Rep. Bill DeWeese
The House Minority Leader

DAMN, that's a mighty big albatross.

6:47 PM

Monday, August 19, 2002
Norah Vincent has started a blog and it looks just like Agenda Bender! Well, you only have so many templates to choose from and most of them look, uh, like crap.

The one you're looking at now, this semi-mondrianish contructivistish thang is one of the less horrific ones. One of my favorite blogs Shouting Across the Pacific had it way before me or Norah and I've stumbled across a few others. I'm not alone in proudly waving the red, blue, green and gold.

Always funny to see these familiar blocks of color pop up unawares then begin reading and think "when did I start believing that the 're-enchantment' of the Catholic Liturgy is the single most urgent ecclesial need of our time."

When did I even know that "ecclesial" was a word, let alone a word that could ever have any urgency attached to it?

Norah also pinched my topic for today, The New York Times Mag article about lesbo-folk. But she left me to say the most important thing about it. Sure her point about the absurdity of the disapproval/outrage felt by some of the gals when one of the sob sister strummers comes out as STRAIGHT is a good one. But the REALLY vital thing to say is there ain't nothing vital whatsoever about lesbian pholk musyc.

There is no drearier subset of popular music. The Indigo Girls are the worst band that ever bled. Melissa Etheridge might give great head but she writes shit songs. I'd rather listen to the De Franco Family than Ani DiFranco who saves the family's honor with that vowel change. Holly Near don't you come too close to me.

kd lang has written some good songs and made some good records but she was never really pitched her tent on the womyns festival campground anyway. That wacky cowgirl schtick was a crime against the culture too but it was her own invention and she shucked it soon enough.

(And what kind of idiot would class Rufus Wainwright as one of the few young male performers who are making any headway in the "folk" scene as the author of the Times story did. And so were the father's sins visited upon the son--hmmm, ok that's not fair, Loudon wasn't so bad, and the matriarchal line was truly great.)

11:23 PM

Sunday, August 18, 2002
Yee ha! ONLY TWO WEEKS LEFT GAY-MART SHOPPERS. Are you a year round sexuality celebrator or a next-year's-pride-events-get-a-jumper?

PlanetOut Partner's Message: 25% off all Pride gear
Whether you celebrate your sexuality all year round or
simply want to get a jump on next year's Pride events,
now's the time to buy your rainbow gear.

Save 25 percent on everything in Kleptomaniac's Pride
store! Sale ends August 31.

2:14 PM

A Canadian gentleman wrote with this question apropos the post below:

"I'm curious to know which of Ayn Rand's personal preferences made it into her philosophy. I can think of only two things that you might be thinking of -- the woman president issue and homosexuality -- but neither could be said to have made it into her philosophy proper. Was there something else you were thinking of?"

A quiet american (myself) responded:

Actually I was thinking aesthetic preferences and even more specifically popular culture since that's were Camille and Ayn seem to me to intersect. Ayn's admiration for Mickey Spillane and Camille's love of Pat Benatar are two examples of what I mean. Ayn had a weakness for the detective genre in general. But of course it was only because in that maligned popular artform a deep sense of ethics persisted. It had been banished from modern "serious" art. Or so Ayn would tell you. Couldn't have been that she just enjoyed the damn things. And Camille couldn't just have a predeliction for cheesy rock sung by a butch pixie in black leather, Benatar has to be an archetype.

After I sent this I remembered my favorite variation on this aspect of human nature--ie, the sacralization of personal taste. Ned Rorem wrote about one of his fancy French friends in one of his sparkling Paris diaries--unless it was about one of his Manhattan playmates in his glittering New York journals--that he (Cocteau? Poulenc?? Henry Hell???) always thought all his boyfriends were geniuses. I have a little bit of that affliction myself.

6:50 AM