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The Public Blogging of Pomosexuality, Homotextuality, Homophobiaphilia, and Drear Theory (aka Career Theory) [aka Gay4Pay]. We also read the Corner and OpJournal so the right buttock will be punished as well. All comments subject to publication. Or dismissal. Or Both.


Your Disciplinarians: Glenda Benda (Philapa), Amber Waves (Kansaster), Polly Morpheus (Dreamsville), Tess Tosterone (D'Urbervilles)



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Agenda Bender
Saturday, March 08, 2003  

Swim Team Logic

Last weeks ish of the Gay City News, New York's Boredom Liberation Front weekly, features an anti-war marcher on the first page holding a sign that reads GEORGE BUSH IS A DANGEROUS TOP. The picture is at least more interesting than most of GCN's cover shots. They usually favor bureaucrats, politicos, community activists and other such glamourpusses as their faces of the week. You'd think it was the teacher's union newspaper. Did I mention it is badly written too? You'd think it was the teacher's union newspaper.

Agenda Bender used to be on the swim team. Another warning sign (see below--soon you will see that everything is a warning sign). We'd spend all Friday making up cardboard signs with our team slogans and put downs of whatever team we were competing against on Saturday morning. We mostly took catch phrases that were in the air from TV shows, commercials and songs and stuck our team name in the ones that were positive and the other team's name in wherever a negative connotation could be strangled from the material. Our posters made little or no sense beyond somehow conveying the idea that we were Grrrrrrrrreat and the other team ssssssuuuuucccccked. I was on the team from the age of 7 to 14. Think I gave up the poster parties as lame and beneath my burgeoning dignity at 11 though.

Just thought I'd mention that.

1:04 PM

Thursday, March 06, 2003

Screen Test

I noticed in the TV listings for today that Turner Classics was doing an early evening gaymericana double play Picnic into Our Town. Should have followed Our Town with Cat on a Hot Tin Roof for an Inge to Wilder to Williams triple play. Man, did I love Picnic when I was a kid. Parents, this is a definite warning sign. Watched it all or in part anytime it was on. The same was true of Rebel Without a Cause, and Two For the Road. Rebel's a given, but I think Two for the Road was my own special discovery. Albert Finney and Audrey Hepburn traveling across Europe, and back and forth through time, over the course of their dozen years together. Seemed like a dream of sophistication and style to me. If Picnic is a warning sign, Rebel is the notarized confirmation and Two for the Road the double your money back guarantee.

11:35 PM

Wednesday, March 05, 2003

Marilyn's Abortions

Some klepto-kraut took my idea to re-invigorate boy bandism with a little T.a t.U.ish boy on boy action , then time travelled back to last fall and executed the plan in Germany. Dave Tepper, who may or may not have a hand in all this euro-time banditry and pop-espionage, alerted me to this and pretends at least to be no fan of the band. He claims it is even likely they "suck skunk balls". Clever--just the way I'd play it.

They are called Marilyn's Boys. Oddly enough their actual names are JFK, Bobby, Joe, Arthur and Yves. I made a joke. Really, one of them is named Yves, but the others are Ruan, Jeremy, Andrim and Rico. You can read about them here. But fair warning, be ready to fall in love.......with the promise of death's sweet release.

Their first, and my money's on only, single is called I Give You the Stars. Now in my hometown the frontal version of shooting the moon was called shooting the stars, so perhaps my take on this title is idiosyncratic. Click the song title link and then click the radio edit sample link on the page for 30 seconds of Skunk Balls' magic, I mean Marilyn's Boys' joy. The amusing thing about the sample is that if you set your realplayer up to loop content, the 30 seconds will continually cycle through giving you what I'd wager is an almost exact reproduction of the perfect whole. Unless there's a hard bop instrumental break midsong that allows the lads timeout from lip-syncing to mimic locker room hijinks during their live shows.

4:46 PM




(via the Google News page. The misspelled Google newspage--I think that mistake is fairly well known but the story at the link points it out again.)

3:36 PM

Tuesday, March 04, 2003

Paz in Our Time

The Ironclad Law of the Unclad is my contribution to bedrock eternal truths. The I.L.U. states that whenever any human beings take off their clothes in public it is always the wrong human beings. I've seen the right human beings very nearly naked in public on many occasions but invariably they refuse to break the I.L.U.

As noted below we have seen a lot of naked dissent, a lot of speaking nude to power in recent weeks, yet so far as I can tell the I.L.U. remains unchallenged. This picture from a demonstration in Santiago, Chile-- a demonstration that we call Azz for Paz in the spirit of bi-lingual solidarity--shows what a mighty fortress is the I.L.U., and displays as well the phenomenon (also noted below) of extreme backpack fetishism.

2:33 PM

Monday, March 03, 2003

Waiting For Guffman--The War Years

From the BBC:

Stage actors across the globe are holding an international protest against a possible war with Iraq.

A series of readings of Aristophanes' anti-war comedy Lysistrata is being held in more than 900 venues in 56 countries on Monday, say the organisers.

Organisers have described the Lysistrata Project as the biggest act of dissent ever made in the theatre world.

...It was first thought of in New York in early January by two actresses, Kathryn Blume and Sharron Bower.

Blume considered doing a reading of Lysistrata as her contribution and then Bower called to suggest they work together on something.

Blume said: "It was a magic moment in the history of politics and theatre."

...Stefan Baldursson, artistic director of the National Theatre of Iceland, said: "Everyone wants peace and I thought it was good to take part in this.

"Some of the best actors in Iceland - more than 20 - will take part."

...Blume and Bower say they have spent a couple of thousand dollars on the project.

"Sharron and I will both tell you that we came to New York to become megastars.

"That has not happened in the theatrical realm, although it seems now that pretty much everyone knows who we are - they just haven't seen our faces or know our work."

I think my headline works, but I've never seen Guffman so I'm not sure. I wonder if the movie is as funny as this Amazon review of it:

[3 stars] NOT MY THING, February 11, 2003
Reviewer: mitchh30 (see more about me) from Minot, ND United States
I enjoy most comedies, this one I don't. If you don't want to laugh outloud this movie is great.

Imagine enjoying most comedies
Imagine there's no possessions.
It's equally hard to do.

11:09 AM


Dali's Gone But They've Still Got Cable

Somebody swiped a Dali from the jail on Riker's Island in NYC. Somebody is watching too many 1930's big house B-movies on TCM at Rikers, too. Two official comments on the theft of the Dali and its replacement with a forgery:

"What's there ain't the real thing," the official said.

Another investigator added: "There's no question that the real one is in the wind."

You dirty art.

1:31 AM