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The Public Blogging of Pomosexuality, Homotextuality, Homophobiaphilia, and Drear Theory (aka Career Theory) [aka Gay4Pay]. We also read the Corner and OpJournal so the right buttock will be punished as well. All comments subject to publication. Or dismissal. Or Both.


Your Disciplinarians: Glenda Benda (Philapa), Amber Waves (Kansaster), Polly Morpheus (Dreamsville), Tess Tosterone (D'Urbervilles)



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M. Wickens
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Samiz D.
Radley B..
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Classical V.
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Two B.
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Luke F.
Jeff J.
Gay P.
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Roger S.
Jay R.
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Agenda Bender
Saturday, August 16, 2003  

Speaking Of Dada

The quote I've always wanted to read in a news story of the death of a bad man. Or woman. From the AP:

In Kampala, Uganda, President Yoweri Museveni's spokesman called Amin's death "good."

Oonapito Ekonioloit is the Agenda Bender spokesdude of all times.

12:57 PM


Reinventing Surreal

Four things I learned reading a two year old copy of Wired magazine:

1. The Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur, the twin super high-rises that are currently the world's tallest buildings, have Muslim prayer rooms at the very top.

2. A letter to editor made the point that the disposable Christian communion kit that had been featured in a previous Wired as the work of some neo-dada art collective lost whatever edge it had if you knew that disposable communion kits have been available from clerical supply companies for years. They are a mainstay of mass Christian gatherings, such as Promise Keepers conventions.

3. Spikes in phone usage like the one on the day of 9/11 are categorized by the phone industry as "unexpected Mother's Day events". Thriller writers and actioner producers, feel free to take this phrase and screw it up by attaching it to some book or movie not worthy of it. I think the best form of it is either Unexpected Mother's Day or A Mother's Day Event.

4. Christine Peterson is married to Eric Drexler. Together they are nano tech's micro-power couple, the General and Mrs. Tom Thumb of the movement towards tiny. Or should I say teensy? Christine sees the possibilities of nano as almost limitless. The death of death being among them. Her answer to the question of how she'd like others to recall her:

I'd like to be remembered as someone who's not dead.

12:32 PM

Friday, August 15, 2003

So Am I Baby

This is SOOOO stupid. But that's never stopped me before:

Iggy Kilowatt sings:

dance to the beat
of the living dead
lose sleep baby and
stay away from bed
naw power is sure to come
a runnin to you

if you're alone
and got the shakes
so am I baby
and I got what it takes

naw power will surely come
running to you

naw power got a healin hand
naw power can destroy a man
naw power is more than soul
it's got a son called rock and roll
naw power honey just won't quit
naw power I can feeeeeel it
naw power baby can't be beat
poppin eyes and flashin feet

...if you're alone
and you got the fear
so am I baby
let's move on out of here
naw power is sure to come
a running to you

Iggy Kilowatt schwings.

12:00 AM

Thursday, August 14, 2003

Tarzan of the New Testament

Interesting refinement of the Nigerian scam lately. I've gotten several that were heavy on Jesus right from the start. They didn't used to have that spin. I just received one that is a meld and merge of The Bible and Tarzan of the Apes:

Dear Beloved in Christ,

It is by the grace of God that I received Christ, knowing the truth and the truth have set me free. Having known the truth, I had no choice than to do what is lawful and right in the sight of God for eternal life and in the sight of man for witness of God`s mercy and glory upon my life.

I have the pleasure to share my testimony with you, having seen your contact from the Internet. I am Barrister JIM OBINNA, the legal adviser to late Mr. and Mrs. Bright Williams, a British couple that lived in my Country Nigeria for 25 years before they both died in the plane crash late last year. These couples were good Christians, they so dedicated their live to God but they had no child till they died...

This wonderful story from the WaPo gives us a clue why the Nigerians might have switched to a more Christ-centered thieveology.

The gist: Possible sucker glut in that direction.

(Link via Hit and Run)

11:52 AM

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

And the Twins, Battlestar and Galactica

Three things I learned yesterday:

1. Jennifer Lopez plays a lesbian in Gigli. I didn't see it, but I read part of a review. By mistake. I swear.

2. Chilli from TLC (she's the one of the three who dates Usher and the one of the two who didn't get killed in a car crash) has a child with record producer Dallas Austin. A son. 5 years old. His name is..............Tron.

Wish it had been a girl. Gattaca would have been such a cool name.

You sart naming you kids after sci-fi movies, you end up dating an usher.

I need to start naming my kids after sci-fi movies.

3. There's a country song with the chorus (and I'm guessing it's the title, too), No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problem. If this is a Jimmy Buffet line I'll have to hurt myself, since I love it so. I love just the line (and the sentiment). The song sucks. As with most mainstream country music, all the effort went into the lyrical hook (and they usually don't knock themselves out there, either). The music was pure cut and paste.

Country music is such a junk yard of threadbare chord changes, song templates and production styles that an almost exact remake of a 30 year old Fleetwood Mac song is an artistic brekthrough for the genre.

If they stopped making country records tomorrow...well... uh...hmmm...what was I saying?...

I really have to start naming my kids after sci-fi movies.

10:05 AM

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

Dead Sea Scroll

Existential Dread, an instance of: While scrolling through the satellite TV channel guide you see that Turner Classic Movies is showing The China Syndrome (1979) at the same time that American Movie Classics is showing The Usual Suspects (1995).

Bonus Knife Twist: You further notice that American Movie Classics is showing The Usual Suspects (1995) twice in a row.

The From Hunger Saving Grace: Fox Movie Channel counter-programs with Anna and The King of Siam (1946).

5:25 AM

Sunday, August 10, 2003

When Bilal Met Reyyan

The Prime Minister of Turkey's name is Recep Tayyip Erdogan. Which matters not at all.

Really, it's nobody's business but the Turks.

What does matter, and what should be everyone's business, is that he has a son, Bilal.

Bilal is, as we say in esperanto, bellecuteifulissimo.

Those so inclined may look at the bride.

Any scumbitch blows these two up gonna have to answer to me.

11:05 PM


Sun-Times Endorses Markissism

Mark Steyn is also wrecked by the break-up of the gay Bishop's family, and by that wanton fraud putting "his sexual appetites before his daughters." By which of course Mark does not mean the Bishop gave homosexual performances or extemporized on his own sexual cravings in front of his daughters. Rather he means that he had a column to write, and this is the best he could do. Honest fellow that he is, he mentions that he's a "little gayed out" at the start, so readers are given fair warning of what to expect---That they'll be pretty fagged-out themselves when they've finished reading.

I shouldn't be too hard on Mark. He's merely responding to the demand for his take on a subject that exhausts him. Everyone was clamoring for the adopted New Hampshirean view of the controversy. What would the New Man of the Mountain have to say? Gayed out as he was, Mark put on his boots and did his duty. Bishop Robinson could take some selflessness lessons from the man.

But then again Mark's selflessness fades in and out in like a car radio in the Rockies. Or the White Mountains. The Bishop's rampaging selfishness and uncaged animal lust are a given, of course. Derbyshire, Barnes, Lileks, Steyn--they've all held their noses (and each others hands it would seem) and channeled the gruesome details of this vicar of vice. This man of Sod. It's just weird that they all keep exposing the self-absorption of the wicked one through the sparkling prism of themselves.

I'm not a professional here, but it does seem to me when you build a column around the premise of someone else's narcissism, maybe just for the length of that column (and I know this is asking a lot) you could try to cut down references to yourself (your hobbies, your hometown, your youness), hmmm let's be reasonable, to say 50% of your normal quota.

It's always good to be reminded of Mark's love for the musical theater and his surprising sexual orientation. Any anecdote that puts flesh on the bones of those fascinating facts is priceless. His story of purchasing the Judy Garland DVD's has the stamp of a backstage classic all over it, and the world is better for knowing the details. I just think it would have fit in many (and maybe all) of his other columns too, so he might better have saved it for them. Even if it meant a small delay in humanity getting word of that particular shopping excursion.

Again, I could be wrong. Mark and the rest do this for a living, so maybe I should bow to their greater experience and leave it to the pros. Interesting abbreviation, that.

10:01 AM