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The Public Blogging of Pomosexuality, Homotextuality, Homophobiaphilia, and Drear Theory (aka Career Theory) [aka Gay4Pay]. We also read the Corner and OpJournal so the right buttock will be punished as well. All comments subject to publication. Or dismissal. Or Both.



























 













 
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Agenda Bender
 
Saturday, January 31, 2004  

Scottish Babies Chubby Layabouts, More Likely to Drink Rob Roys Than Grow Up To Be One


The children spent 20 minutes a day in moderate to vigorous activity — the type of activity that would get them feeling slightly warm and slightly out of breath, such as running around, walking to keep up with an adult and most types of outdoor play.

Now that is a delightful paragraph. News stories could use more like it.

This is strange though.

"There are really only two possibilities, reduced activity or increased intake. None of the dietary assessment data indicate that children are eating more. Adolescents may be eating more but young children are eating less," said the study's leader, John Reilly, a physiologist at the University of Glasgow.

"A 3-year-old 25 years ago was eating 25 percent more than a 3-year-old today," he said. "But physical activity levels have dropped quite dramatically over the last 15 or 20 years."


Who knew that today's babies were eating less? Maybe that's why today's adolescents are so damn hungry.

(Full story here.)

7:19 PM

 

Things I've Done, Never Having Would Have Done Them


I was half asleep and a song was playing in the next room. It is not the first time that it took my slumbering mind to really hear a song and appreciate its greatness.

What you won't do
You'll do for love
You try everything
But you don't give up
In this world only you
Make me do for love
What I would not do


The song is more than just the cleverness of these lyrics. It's oddly constructed by contemporary pop standards. It has a second melody line which is probably as recognizable as the lyrical melody. The words and music taken together made me wonder about Bobby Caldwell, who was pretty much a one hit wonder with this song. I realized I knew almost nothing about him. Reading this I realized I didn't even know his race (or, more accurately, I would have guessed it wrong yesterday, if you'd asked me.) Of course the song has been covered most consistently by black artists, and all the versions of it have melted together in my head, so I'm not sure I really even remember Bobby's voice.

Most amusingly, the first hit I got when searching for more information of the song was a reprint of a post from a Grateful Dead forum. A Jerry Garcia side-project had covered the song as well. There are not many songs that plot an intersection on a 2-D graph with a Jerry Garcia and a Phyllis Hyman (RIP, you two) axis.

Even more than most amusingly, the version of the song that was playing in the next room was Go West's.

Bobby Caldwell is a sort of pop Christ, I'm thinking.

I must investigate him further before his inevitable arrest and execution.

6:32 PM

Friday, January 30, 2004
 

The Gay Bambino


CLEVELAND (AP) -- Indians minor leaguer Kazuhito Tadano is asking for forgiveness for what he called a one-time mistake -- his appearance in a gay porn video in which he engaged in a homosexual act.

...Shunned by Japanese baseball teams, the 23-year-old Tadano signed with the Indians last March. They think he can make their club this spring.

...``I did participate in a video and I regret it very much,'' he said. ``It was a one-time incident that showed bad judgment and will never be repeated. I was young, playing baseball, and going to college and my teammates and I needed money.

...Through an interpreter, Tadano added: ``I'm not gay. I'd like to clear that fact up right now.''

...Tadano was one of Japan's top college pitchers and expected to be a high first-round pick in 2002. But after a Japanese tabloid published photos of him in the video a month before the draft, pro teams in Japan did not select him.

``The commissioner of Japanese baseball came out and said, 'You will not draft Tadano,''' asserted the pitcher's agent, Alan Nero. ``But this kid didn't assault anybody. He didn't commit murder. If anything, he is guilty of being naive.''

Twice in the minor leagues last season, Tadano stood before his teammates and confessed to his participation in the video, which Nero said can only be obtained on the black market in Japan.

...Tadano knows he may face fan abuse in major league parks such as Yankee Stadium, where heckling the visitors is part of the pageantry.

He joked that he's ready for it.

``I don't understand English, so it doesn't really matter,'' he said.


The most glorious detail here is that twice in the minor leagues last season, Tadano stood before his teammates and confessed to his participation in the video. And now he's confessed once more in the new year, and it's only January. Pretty soon they'll be slotting Tadano's confession before every game, just after the national anthem. He can do a tearful Lou Gehrig bit every night (maybe give it a rest for the businessman's specials), today I consider myself the naivest man on the face of this earth.

Roo Gayrig (I'm doing all the work for the Yankee fans).

They'll probably schedule a free video night for a Tuesday twi-nighter in early June. I might just make the odd eight hour drive to Cleveland for those games myself. Sometimes that lime diamond calls out to your very soul.

He could always play for the Cards.

(Tale of Tadano via Popbitch)

8:11 PM

Thursday, January 29, 2004
 

The Gates of Unlaughter


A funny geek joke. But was it intentional?

David Bradley wrote the code for the CtrlAltDelete restart command:

At a 20-year celebration for the IBM PC, Bradley was on a panel with Microsoft founder Bill Gates and other tech icons. The discussion turned to the keys.

"I may have invented it, but Bill made it famous," Bradley said.

Gates didn't laugh...


6:20 PM

 

Storm the Reality Studios (Or At Least Avoid the Reality Reception Desk When You Leave)


The rolling blog of BBC staff reactions to yesterday's release of the Hutton report, which blasted the BBC and exonerated Blair's government, is fascinating. As screwed-up as that Broadcasting House culture is, I wonder if any other news organization anywhere would allow this kind of open exchange. And more than allow, host it and promulgate it. There is something more than a little admirable in that.

Nick Higham :: BBC Broadcasting House :: 2010GMT

...We've been told that the meeting of the BBC Governors has finished but they obviously left by a back entrance, because they didn't come out of the main reception past us. As far as we know that is it for the night from the governors. They are due to reconvene tomorrow.


Of course then you read the BBC's bio its of newly resigned leader, "Greg Dyke", and you hate the culture all over again:

Mr Dyke's CV did not sport the normal credentials of a BBC director general.

Unsporting CV, that.

There's a curious Britishism in Dyke's resignation email (which is now a key document in the history of email triumphant, its first line, This is the hardest e-mail I've ever written--in all his 57 years, no doubt). A form of it also appears on the staff blog, so maybe it's a BBC thing:

I accept that the BBC made errors of judgement and I've sadly come to the conclusion that it will be hard to draw a line under this whole affair while I am still here.

Death by highlighting? Draw a line under something=put it to rest? Stick a fork in it?

Draw a line under me, I'm outta here.

12:36 PM

 

Your Partial Movie Reviewer


The last three minutes of The Revolutionary (1970) are excellent: A superb zoom shot, interesting music, and a terrific held-several-beats-longer-than-you-expect freeze frame non-resolution. Let some hidebound completeist watch the preceding ninety-eight minutes.

It seems the movie has never made it to VHS or DVD. Another echo of its perfection.

Two contrasting reactionary reviews by critics who fell into the watch-the-whole-thing-then-pretend-someone-cares-how-you-spent-two-hours-of-your-miserable-life trap:

Pro.
Anti.

(I only presuppose your interest in three minute chunks of mine. Call it The New Critical Modesty.)

A most intriguing list of movies scored by Michael Small, who composed the music for The Revolutionary.

Puzzle of a Downfall Child, Kidco, Audrey Rose, Continental Divide, etc. Dude must be some kind of genius of jinxed miscellany. Michael Small's resume of 43 films is now my hipper-than-anybody list of the greatest movies ever made. "Oh what, you never saw Rollover? You're kidding, right? It's Kristofferson's best work."

I actually did see Rollover. Or I was in its vicinity, I should say. We shared a plane ride once.

10:31 AM

Tuesday, January 27, 2004
 

Pepperoni Mystery Solved


'Sick' Meat Banned From Soup, Pizza

WASHINGTON - Meat from cattle too sick to walk to slaughter will be prohibited from canned soups, pizzas...

...While USDA regulates meat, FDA regulates human food products that contain small quantities of meat, such as canned soups and pizzas, officials said...


(WaPo)

9:15 AM

 

URGENT Request For Assistance


Just because a perpetual motion machine isn't possible on this material plane doesn't mean it won't work in the spam dimension. Or is this more like economics on the Isle of Escher, where everyone makes a living by painting their neighbor's house? Either way it's genius, and it was a welcome addition to my inbox this morning:

Convert Your Unwanted Pounds To Cash!

The mechanics of the alchemy was a little disappointing, a handful (a real handful) of customers get a loss-leading payback for every pound dropped.

I am test marketing these letters:

Your Empty Herbal Viagra Bottles Now Valuable Collectibles!

Claim Your Share Of Massive Class Action Victory Against Misleading Porn Sites!

Finance Your College Education With Nigerian Fraud Losses!

Trade In Your Used P.A.R.I.S. H.I.L.T.O.N. Video For Xanax, Soma and Fioricet!

Spam Inbox Clutter Can Heat Your Home!

Barely Legal Marketing Ploys Are Ready To F*CK You Now And SUCK You Dry!

8:58 AM

Sunday, January 25, 2004
 

The Crucifixion as a Downhill Bicycle Race


I followed a link from Drudge to Limbaugh lawyer Roy Black's statement concerning the release of private correspondence between his office and the Palm Beach State Attorney.

The headline to the statement was:

Palm Beach State Attorney's Office Dances Atop Their SUV, Releases Confidential Correspondence

So I read Black's statement wanting the details of all this attorney-SUV-top-dancing. The Palm Beach S.A.'s office has one SUV and all the lawyers (secretaries and mail clerks, too?) had a dance party on top of it?

I'm usually not so literal-minded (check any one of my own headlines), but that headline ref was a little too obscure for me to get, early on a Sunday morning. So obscure that it was only when I realized that the headline wasn't the work of a news bureau and that I was reading it on Limbaugh's own site, that I finally understood it was some sort of joke. Some sort of very trippy joke. Almost as if someone writing copy at RushLimbaugh.com is typing very late at night in a very altered state. One that leads to much more confusing than amusing mobius riffing, to metaphorical tone-deafness and the metalogical omnindifference to straight world standards typically found among drug den hispters.

Must have gotten by Rush somehow.


10:29 AM