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The Public Blogging of Pomosexuality, Homotextuality, Homophobiaphilia, and Drear Theory (aka Career Theory) [aka Gay4Pay]. We also read the Corner and OpJournal so the right buttock will be punished as well. All comments subject to publication. Or dismissal. Or Both.


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Saturday, February 14, 2004  

Monsieur Guile Less, Uneasy Banker

Spam as mini-literature.

In the last month, all the emails with really intriguing headers have been spam. This is a definite advance. The spam bots have a keener eye and ear than any of my actual correpondents:

Re: steamboat
scrupulosity transgressor
Re: secrecy bullhide
bombast tyburn
Re: cumulus
Re: buckthorn jimmy

I really would like to know what's up with Buckthorn Jimmy.

The email under the last header (colporteur: "a traveling book salesman, especially someone who travels about either selling or distributing Bibles or religious tracts") included the further breakthrough of frenchified english:

Are y?u still p?ying t?x?s?

Did you know that most pe?ple are l?g?lly and l?wfully ?ligible to be t?x ?x?mpt?

[oh shit, blogger spit back the Frenglish, just imagine all the vowels in place and randomly accented.]

And now I see there is invisible modernism in the email too. I was highlighting the froglais above to copy and paste it here when otherwise hidden mandarin-gibberish revealed itself:

Canonicate Clavated Galop Belaud Fetichism Embosomed Clavate Cludless Pneumatoscopic Fenced Refect Guileless Banker Uneasy.

Isthmus Ululation Machiavelian Dappled Gratification Disconcerted Fardel Vigils Verruca Flocculent Diogenes Spavined Basset Porthole Unimpeached.

A. Sullivan's been doing a lot of Basset Porthole blogging lately. More or less.

1:46 PM

Friday, February 13, 2004

Reduced to Quoting Funny T-Shirts (and Reading GQ)[and Insulting Johhny Depp]

There's an article in the December 2003 GQ about a 21 year old motion picture producing prodigy with four projects in turnaround (or runaround or circling the roundabout--or maybe the drain). It's a mostly uninteresting piece, but one worthwhile detail is noted. The author spots a guy in a West Hollywood nightclub wearing an I'm with Stupid T-shirt with the arrow pointing down. I so wish I'd thought of this.

Update: Beth writes that Johnny Depp wore the same T-shirt in Once Upon A Time in Mexico, which means that more people will see the joke here than did in the movie theaters. More people saw it in that West Hollywood nightclub, too. If only Johnny had worn it in Pirates of the Caribbean. Then it would have the pop-culture footprint it deserves.

Further Update: Of course if Johhny had as much of a sense of humor in his private life as he does in movie Mexico he would wear it offscreen with the arrow pointing up.

9:01 PM

Thursday, February 12, 2004

Brother Elk, Sister Goose

(E!Online)....the San Francisco-based Native American Cultural Center called for a boycott of the network for airing OutKast's "racist" "Hey Ya!" production number during the Grammys.

...Specifically, the group is taking issue with the "fake tepee," the headdresses, the braided wigs and the "war paint" as smeared on the faces of the University of Southern California marching band, whose members also took part in the number.

..."If people were wearing yarmulkes and the Hasidic dress and bumping and grinding, we would see that as ridiculous, but for some reason we don't see what OutKast did as ridiculous," Brother Elk said.

Go for it, Andre 3000. Brother Elk has given you your bumping and grinding orders for the NAACP Image awards next month.

At least Andre didn't appear onstage in a Roman collar strumming an acoustic guitar.....

1:36 AM


From the Days of Bossa Nova Baptisms

Trash-picked on the way home Wednesday night, one LP:

Paul Quinlan The Jesuit Folk Singer GLORY BOUND Psalms Set To Music (American Record Society, 1965)

From Oscar Brand's back cover blurb:

Bible Coffee-Houses are thriving in some of our large cities, and jazz Masses and swing liturgies have been performed in some of America's most conservative houses of worship.

A close reading of the album notes reveals that Paul Q was a Jesuit seminarian at the time of this recording. I feel somewhat had.

1:07 AM

Monday, February 09, 2004

Speaking of Skittering

Rod Dreher got off a good one at the Corner yesterday:

I found myself watching him [GWB] slouch and skitter through the Russert interview, and thought how fortunate we are that the president will probably be running against a liberal Democrat from Massa-gay-marriage-chusetts this fall.

Gotta love word play at that level. How about Massa-carpet-munchusetts or Massa-dudes-doing-stuff-to-each-other-chusetts, or maybe Homosexualassachusetts?

Clearly I can't match Mr. Dreher's intricately-wrought phrasemaking. His intricately-wrought psyche has mine beat by a Dallas morning mile, too.

1:22 AM

Sunday, February 08, 2004

I Feel Like Mold

This school girl choral version of Teenage Dirtbag would certainly be a hit record if radio wasn't such a pit of Clear Channel despond. Then there is the separate but equal horror of public radio's World Cafe(teria), which is produced a few blocks away from where I type this. Piping tepid portions of international microwaved cuisine served up by board certified dieticians. Be sure to pick up the mug and totebag at the cafeteria souvenir shop after your meal. The totebag especially comes in handy when signaling your presence to fellow droids at the whole foods grocer, nosherie or coffee bar.

You know, this record could still be a hit. The fact is NPR and Clear Channel could make room for it. They both have space for the oddball track (as much as it hurts to waste airtime on a record with no secondary--primary?--concert promotion/lifestyle accessory potential.)

And they'd both make me hate it. The jocks on the clear channel modern rock station would give it the portentous oversell and the Cafeteria workers would chuckle it up in a quiet and knowing (but-not-knowing-they-know-nothing) way. Or vice versa.

Via Jockohomo who doesn't explain its provenance sufficiently. He's playing the piano? (Man, I hate to be a sucker for poker-faced hijinks, that's my job). There ain't no way those are Belgian chix singin' that perfect 'Merican.

Sing along.

Update: All the lyrics for T. Dirtbag online have some amusing mistakes in them (the one that substitutes Iron Rain for Iron Maiden is the best) , but the version linked above has the fewest. Only one that I found:

Oh how she rocks
In kids and tube socks

Now that I think of it, the online lyrics to ALL songs have amusing mistakes in them.

3:07 PM


A Shenyang Hair Band

These dudes would have ruled L.A. circa 1986.

I mean they did rule L.A. circa 1986.

Talk about yer motley crues. Those Whitesnake/Pinkchimp double bills are still legend.

11:45 AM