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The Public Blogging of Pomosexuality, Homotextuality, Homophobiaphilia, and Drear Theory (aka Career Theory) [aka Gay4Pay]. We also read the Corner and OpJournal so the right buttock will be punished as well. All comments subject to publication. Or dismissal. Or Both.


Your Disciplinarians: Glenda Benda (Philapa), Amber Waves (Kansaster), Polly Morpheus (Dreamsville), Tess Tosterone (D'Urbervilles)



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Agenda Bender
Friday, February 20, 2004  


Maureen Baginski heads the new FBI effort to expand and upgrade its contingent of intelligence analysts. Maureen came to the FBI from the NSA, out of the vegetable soup and onto the scrabble board, as they say. Below, Maureen displays her own analytical chops and crunches some internal FBI data. It's a peek behind the policy curtain. Al Quaeda be warned, Mo Bag is in the game now:

There is a preference, in the FBI recruiting effort, for veterans who have some military intelligence training. Baginski has also added one key prerequisite for would-be analysts: a college degree.

Dealing with unqualified analysts already on the payroll will be one of her biggest challenges. An internal FBI review in January 2002 found that 66 percent of the bureau's analysts were unqualified.

Baginski said this week that about 40 percent of current analysts do not have college degrees. But she noted that some of the best analysts are military veterans with strong intelligence backgrounds, even though they never went to college.

9:57 PM


Pocket Full of Transference Issues

Picked up from the sidewalk this afternoon:

The Technique of Psychotherapy--Third Edition: Part One by Lewis R. Wolberg M.D. (Grune and Stratton, 1977, 605 pages)

The book's green fabric hardcover was a little dirty, but it cleaned up nicely. One other flaw will never be rectified, however. It is the flaw* that won me over and found this abandoned book its new home. Upon opening the front cover you are confronted with the book's upside down and backwards last page. The volume was bound ass over tea kettle, boots over tea spout, toes over tea biscuits.

Excerpts from the section entitled EXPLAINING GENERAL ROUTINES IN THERAPY (pages 508 -510)

Informing the Patient of Expected Delays in Getting Well
...The patient may also be told that alleviation of symptoms may not come immediately and that there might even be a slight setback before improvement occurs...

Explaining the Use of the Couch and Where It Is to Be Employed
There are advantages and disadvantages to the recumbent position in psychotherapy....

Planning for Vacations
...Most therapists urge their patients to plan their own vacations at a time that coincides with the therapist's absence.

Smoking During the Interview
...To forbid the patient to smoke imposes on him what he may consider authoritarian pressure...

Handling the Nonpayment of Bills
...The subject of nonpayment of bills may open up a pocket of transference...

*She lacked only one thing to be perfect--a flaw.
--Karl Kraus

5:25 PM

Thursday, February 19, 2004

I Disbelieve in a Thing Called Now

I thought the video for the song I Believe In a Thing Called Love by The Darkness was a joke at first. And by at first I mean for many weeks. I figured The Darkness was a Spinal Tapizoid retread, and that I just hadn't been clued into the backstory. But as the weeks turned into months, and I kept hearing the song and seeing the video, I realized the irony was all on my side of the TV set.

The band was for real, just completely unstuck in time (i.e. completely stuck in time). I've made it a point not to investigate any further. I wanted to try my pop archaeology freestylin' skills. I knew they must be British, a distinct limey accent breaks through here and there in the song, but most tellingly, the lead singer in the disco cleavage, jumping jack flashback, glam hazmat suit had those unmistakable Stonehenge teeth, that national health smile. He'd also obviously spent many thousands of hours listening to Queen, probably all of them while lip and hip synching in front of his bedroom mirror. I'm guessing he took one ot those bel canto rock singing courses they used to (and maybe still do) sell in all the wretched guitar mags.

There is no possible excuse or explanation for his band, except possibly backyard cryogenics gone way wrong.

Which is why I feel great affection for them.

In accordance with my desire to know the Darkness only obliquely through symptoms and signs, I didn't read this, but you may. The rocking goofuses are winning awards, snatching them out of Radiohead's claws. Hahahaha.

4:52 AM

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Be Glad You Weren't Mr. Dundas

The right honourable gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jests and his imagination for his facts.
--R.B. Sheridan, Speech, in reply to Mr. Dundas

This template can get you far (down):

The gentleman should be grateful to his mother's paramour for his full head of hair and his bald father's catamite for his nicely shined shoes.
--A. Bender, Speech, in reply to Mr Dreher

7:47 AM


A Diamond As Small As The Ritz

(Dateline:Centaurus) Twinkling in the sky is a diamond star of 10 billion trillion trillion carats, astronomers have discovered.

The cosmic diamond is a chunk of crystallised carbon, 1,500 km across, some 50 light-years from the Earth in the constellation Centaurus.

...The white dwarf is not only radiant but also rings like a gigantic gong, undergoing constant pulsations.

...Astronomers expect our Sun will become a white dwarf when it dies 5 billion years from now. Some two billion years after that, the Sun's ember core will crystallise as well, leaving a giant diamond in the centre of our Solar System.

I originally misspelled diamond in the headline to this post, producing a jewel-like typo in its own right: Daimond.

7:39 AM

Sunday, February 15, 2004

The Linux Id

Shouldn't IBM's Linux Kid, the one who sits in the middle of one of those infinite white spaces left over from The Matrix, be a little less than infinitely white himself, whiter than Linus Torvalds in the middle of a Finnish winter? Isn't he supposed to be the sponge mind absorbing all the information and wisdom of humanity? Does he have to be such a square pants, too?

Couldn't his creators have dived a little deeper in the gene pool and come up with a kid who was more of a physical embodiment of the idea ? A eurasian blatino with a pulse, a sly smile and a little more active intelligence in the eyes, less of the albino salamander stare.

We don't all watch The Village of the Damned with a sense of longing for the possiblities.

1:04 AM