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The Public Blogging of Pomosexuality, Homotextuality, Homophobiaphilia, and Drear Theory (aka Career Theory) [aka Gay4Pay]. We also read the Corner and OpJournal so the right buttock will be punished as well. All comments subject to publication. Or dismissal. Or Both.


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Agenda Bender
Saturday, April 10, 2004  


More fwded inter-office homo-joko e-rotica. It probably started as inter-6th grade email and worked its way up. I like two of them.

From a list of:

Ways to Tell Guys That Their Fly Is Unzipped

Your cucumber has left the salad.

Windows is on your laptop.

You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position.

Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...

Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction...

We've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.

The cage is open but the beast is sleeping. (Or in extreme cases: The cage is open and the beast has escaped)

My favorites? No introduction and Los Pantalones.

I was inspired to create one myself:

Your challenger has slipped the surly bonds of your pants to touch the face of god.

Of course, there is always this classic:

Hmmmmm, you wear boxers. They're red plaid and not exactly new. Am I right?

This one lost much of its punch with the advent of dragging pants. The underwear Kreskin bit is meaningless when your underpants selection is already a matter of public record.

It still works (mutatis mutandis) in more formal settings, though.

I should note something that the social conservatives who decried the (now waning) underwear-above-the-waistband zeitgeist mustn't have known, or were wily enough not to admit to knowing. It's more generally understood that the chix were often wearing two pairs of underwear, the thongs that got hiked up for display and the panties that were worn beneath the thong. But the dudes were doubling up, too. The display boxers were usually worn under another pair of boxers and sometimes even gym shorts (sometimes even a full pair of sweat pants). You could hide a helluva lot of underwear under those baggy-assed jeans. So the apparent wanton display of unmentionables masked what was in most cases an actual intensification of underwear fortification. Los Pantalones was on high-alert lockdown the whole time.

(See, A Moon for the Misbegotten)

Oh SoCons, the world has not fallen nearly so far as your always Tijuana-film-loop projecting selves.

5:18 PM

Thursday, April 08, 2004

Mistakes Our Are Business

Skimming GoogleNews (is it ever going to get out of beta?) I misread this at first as:

Andy Warhols Troops Take Remote City

Andy's army has, afterall, taken (and continues to take) many a remote city.

The things I mishear and misread are often more interesting than the things actually spoken or written. The things I misspeak and mistype often interest me more than what I was trying to say.

11:59 AM

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

There's a Statue of Me in a Park in Pest*

I'm half-way through a short and entertaining biography of the mathematician Paul Erdos by Bruce Schechter. It's called My Brain Is Open, which was Erdos' typical greeting to other mathematicians upon popping up wherever in the world he did, on any random day. I bought one of those yellow soft-cover Advance Uncorrected Reader's Proofs of the book for one dollar, which probably amounts to a crime on the seller's and buyer's part. The proof is so uncorrected that it is marked A Novel on the cover.

I love to read biographies of mathematicians, it so very much easier and enjoyable than actually doing math. This one contains just enough mathematical reasoning to infect the reader with delusions of competence, so it is even more pleasurable than most. For example, I felt a keen sense of discovery when it occurred to me that if primes are infinite (in spite of their thinning out in the higher reaches) as Euclid showed, and if there is always one prime in between any number and its double, as Chebychef proved (Erdos himself later proved there are at least two primes between any number higher than 7 and its double), and if you can generate hugely long strings of consecutive non-primes by calculating the factorial product (1x2x3x4x..etc,etc) of any hugely high number and then adding the consecutive factors to that number, though you must jump over 1 and start with 2 (to pick a case--1,000,000,000,000! plus its factors, +2,+3,+4, etc, would create a string of 1,000,000,000,000!ish consecutive non-primes), then you can somewhat narrow the search for primes down by looking for them in the space where they must, following this reasoning, lie.

Like say, this: First, you take that recently discovered new highest Mersenne prime number and calculate its factorial. Then you double the product of your calculation (you would of course never live long enough to actually DO these calculations, I'm pretty sure your computer wouldn't either). You know there are at least two primes in the number space between the factorial and its double. They can be in only two places. One of them must be the new highest Mersenne Prime factorial (any new highest prime! would do, Mersenne or not) + 1 , OR, if it is not (and the odds are overwhelming it isn't), then both of them are in the number space BETWEEN the last number generated when you add the consecutive integers to the factorial of the new highest prime AND the double of the new highest prime factorial. It also occurs to me that as vast as the number reaches are at these fantastic numerical heights, this narrowing down amounts to virtually nothing.

I am, I know, probably the 100!th person or so to realize all this.

The biography makes the intellectual ferment of interwar Hungary vivid and mentions that the math prodigies of that era made a habit of meeting at the feet of The Statue of Anonymous, which can be found in a park on the Pest side** of Budapest. Anonymous was Hungary's most important medieval historian. He is represented as a seated, hooded man whose face is lost in his hood, his hidden face pointed down towards the book in which he anonymously writes. Any society that erects such bewitching public art can pretty much be counted on to cough up a generation of geniuses, of one sort or another, every now and then, too.

*Song title from an alt. universe 1920's.

**Update: Pest Side Story, Musical of Hungarian teenage, scientific gang-life (the Asymmets vs the Quarks) from an alt universe 1950's.

Update II: I deleted this post about 15 minutes after I first sent it and reworked it because the first version was, well, wrong. I knew it would be, but I also knew I wouldn't see how until I posted it. That's when my editing skills (even then meager) kick in. So this version fixes the errors visible to me. My hood makes my proofreading very inexact. Any other corrections must come from others.

Update III: You should join the Mersenne prime project, or one of the other lazy computer projects linked under the computer bootcamp link on the left (on the left of this page and to the left of the phrase on the left in the preceeding sentence). It bugs the hell out of me that everyone doesn't run a hive mind project on their computer. But I have anger issues.

5:05 PM

Sunday, April 04, 2004

Wedding Announcement Porn

From my most faithful office-email fwder I received a jpeg collage of newspaper clippings of provocative marital mergers:


I kept reading, and not getting, one of them though. It took me a while to tune my mind to its antique wavelength.


When I finally got it, I considered next exactly how hard up you'd have to be for that particular combination to immediately register on your double entendre meter.

My conclusion: Very.

I was pleased it took me so long.

4:19 PM