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The Public Blogging of Pomosexuality, Homotextuality, Homophobiaphilia, and Drear Theory (aka Career Theory) [aka Gay4Pay]. We also read the Corner and OpJournal so the right buttock will be punished as well.
All comments subject to publication. Or dismissal. Or Both.
Sometimes I regret that the google toolbar is such a merciless pop-up ad slayer. I would never have witnessed the greatness of this one if I'd been on my own computer. Oh, the heart-ache it might have saved me.
It would have eliminated some good times, too, of course. I think the pop-up said it best:
LIVE, LOVE, LEARN
True needs to pay me a million bucks and buy the pop-up rights to this page, if I know the audience here like I think I do.
The kicker to their sign-up page is the new best thing on the internet (Agenda Bender was the old best thing):
I couldn't care less that Colin Powell sang YMCA. There was a brief moment in 1991 when that would have been worth a chuckle. Macho Man might have been amusing, though. Or Sleazy. I believe that was a hit in Jakarta.
This is a little more interesting:
In 1997 Madeleine Albright, bowled over the ministers when she performed a musical skit dressed as Evita Peron.
If only Jeanne Kirkpatrick had been the first female S.o.S. Her version of The Ladies Who Lunch would have disemboweled the ministers.
On the last day of June, I give you the most interesting thing I've read this month. It is the explanation of the Big Tobacco's settlement with Big Adjutico that I have long sought and never found. I could never understand why this settlement didn't just open the door for a startup cigarette company to prosper as an undercutting, honest trader. Without the burden of the settlement's cost, and with no history of corporate dissembling that might open it to further torts, it could sell a product that even gloried in the bad boy (and girl) allure of evil tobacco. I wondered more about this as I saw the rise of discount brands in the last few years. There are probably a dozen new discount cigarette brands that sell for 30% less than those of Mr. Joseph Camel (The Hero With a Thousand Filters) and Ms. Virginia Slims.
It turns out (talk about your no-surprise endings) that the settlement sought to prevent this very thing, that the tobacco giants thought they were buying cartel privileges along with protection from future lawsuits. Except that the deal hasn't worked out as planned.
So this is also the funniest thing I've read this month. You can always count on those cut-ups at the Competitive Enterprise Institute to deliver the laughs.
Night of A Hundred Boyfriends, Girlfriends, Ex-Wives, and Discarded Paramours (Plus Peter O'Toole)
From The Scotsman, and what an amusing Scotsman in spite of himself he turns out to be:
Anti-Bush Film Welcomed by Celebrities
...Those who came to see the film, which presents the American president as foolish and out of his depth in the White House, included Jude Law and his girlfriend Sienna Miller, Elton John’s partner David Furnish, singer Anastasia and actor Peter O’Toole.
Politicians Claire Short and George Galloway were also at the screening, hosted by Miramax co-chairman Harvey Weinstein.
...Tonight Bianca Jagger said before the film began that she hoped the film would make people realise that they “shouldn’t vote for Bush again.
...Also seeing the film tonight were actor Hugh Laurie, TV presenter Angus Deayton and singer Beverley Knight.
Super model Kate Moss’ on-off partner Daniel Craig was also there – and so was her former boyfriend Jefferson Hack.
I will always read a Morrissey interview or article. I won't search them out, but when one is in arm's reach, my arm reaches for it.
With the pope of mope, the prince of mince, the emperor of distemperor, on tour in support of a new record, I have read five or so in the last several weeks. Another five would just about satisfy my needs for the time being. A couple that I've read have made note of the variously configured Smiths' tribute bands currently fulfilling that felt need. I've configured a few more.
Anyone else feeling these?
The Smiffs or the Smivs. They perform all Smiths' songs will one slight adjustment. All th sounds are pronounced ff (the Smiffs) or v (the Smivs). Like a sweet and tender hooligan would.
The Smiffs sing:
And everybody's got to live ffeir life
and God knows I've got to live mine
God knows I've got to live mine
William, William it was really noffing
William, William it was really noffing
it was your life
How can you stay wiff a fat girl who'll say:
"Would you like to marry me
and if you like you can buy ffe ring"
she doesn't care about anyffing
You don't want the Smiffs and Smivs on the same bill, however. As brilliant as their technical breakthrough is, it is a little samey. The preferred co-bill for both of them would be:
How did Mark Steyn let the joke go in this passage from Clinton's memoirs?
He broods on "the difficulty I've had in letting anyone into the deepest recesses of my internal life. It was dark down there. I had been down on my self before," he reveals, "but never like this, for this long."
The possibilities are limitless, but let's start with:
I'd been down on myself before. Now it was somebody else's turn.
NEW YORK June 25, 2004 — Prosecutors filed drug and weapons charges Friday against rapper DMX, a day after he was arrested for allegedly impersonating a federal agent and trying to steal a car from an airport parking lot.
DMX, 33, allegedly crashed his sport-utility vehicle through a parking lot gate at Kennedy Airport after telling the attendant to let him leave because he was a government agent
...The complaint also said that the rapper, whose real name is Earl Simmons, ordered a driver at an adjacent parking lot to get out of his vehicle. When the man refused, Simmons allegedly identified himself as an FBI agent, grabbed the driver's seat belt buckle, and tried to pull him from the vehicle.
...Police found a billy club and rocks of crack cocaine in the vehicle
Lesson #1: It's hard to stay high for years without eventually believing you are an FBI or DEA agent.
At least now X will get to be what he dreamed of being, a federal employee. Of a sort.
DMX was featured in an episode of MTV Diary in 1999 that is most memorable for the many close-ups of D's totally blasted eyeballs. You don't want a dude sporting these eyeballs to try to pull you out of your car or to drive up to your parking attendant cubicle. He's not exactly seeing you, if you know what I mean. He doesn't exactly see himself either, of course.
DMX made some good records, though I never bought any. But what I really never bought was his act--gravel-voiced, ball-dragging, jesus-pleasin' gangsta schmaltz. If only he'd stuck to celebrating black dudes in ghetto dune buggies. That's subject-matter enough to sustain any art.
You don't get the full effect of DMX's plate glass peepers from this streaming video version of his MTV Diary appearance, but you probably don't want the full-effect. Ask the parking-lot attendant.
The Seattle Times got the story a little wrong. Bill Gates is not about to start writing a blog, he has instead just bought a blog, this one, if you must know. I have relinquished all rights to this site and its contents for $50,000. I'm not sure what further plans Mr. Gates has for what I've written here, but the check cleared so I wish him all the best.