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The Public Blogging of Pomosexuality, Homotextuality, Homophobiaphilia, and Drear Theory (aka Career Theory) [aka Gay4Pay]. We also read the Corner and OpJournal so the right buttock will be punished as well. All comments subject to publication. Or dismissal. Or Both.


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Agenda Bender
Saturday, July 17, 2004  

Jobless in Gaza

Arafat finally gets tough on the rampant cronyism and cancerous bureaucracy of the Palestinian Authority.  A little bit:
In apparent response to the gunmen's demands, Arafat fired the police commander and appointed a cousin, Major General Mussa Arafat, as overall security chief for Gaza. He also announced its 12 security services would be combined into three.
Thus risking the righteous wrath of nine displaced cousins.  Maybe the dozen security services newly combined into three can have four commanders each, then the full-employment plan for Arafats won't be sunk by this bold streamlining of agencies. 
(Hire me, United Nations.) 

5:02 PM

Friday, July 16, 2004

Why Do They Call It The Human Race When It's So Damn Slow?

I apologize if this is immodest, but my typos are pure genius sometimes.  Just tonight in a thirty minute chat with Canh (you too beautiful dude, you) I came up with libertarina for libertarian and surriculum for curriculum.  I'm good for four or five of these a day. And I mean four or five at this same, skyscraping level of accidental invention.  Day in, day out, evenings, weekends, and holidays, too.   
If the human race mutated with equivalent speed and creative imprecision, we'd be eternal, omniscient energy spheres by now. 

12:30 AM

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Rick, The Human Stain

I think Andrew Sullivan here misconstrues The Senator* named Rick:

But few, as usual, come close to the hysteria of Senator Santorum. Again, listen to his description of those of us who fought for so long for equality in marriage:

"Marriage is hate. Marriage is a stain. Marriage is an evil thing. That's what we hear."

From whom? Certainly not from anyone I know of in the marriage movement. The only possible justification for his remarks is the Massachusetts' Supreme Court's description of an arbitrary bar against gays being a "stain" against the notion of equal rights in the Massachusetts constitution. But that is not the same as saying that marriage itself is somehow a stain or evil. Why do these people have to demonize and lie about their opponents? Because if they accurately described us, the hysteria and ignorance that fuel this amendment would be even plainer to see.

Andrew's confusion is understandable, he's trying to make sense of Santorum. This is always perilous. You have to unwrap several layers of the Rickster's goofy solipsism (as usual) to get his point. His brain circles reality in a closed, synecdoche loop. The clown car he drives is stuck in metaphorical gridlock. The bumpersticker on that car?


Rick's fuller quote reads:

Marriage is hate. Marriage is a stain. Marriage is an evil thing. That's what we hear. People who stand for traditional marriage are haters, they're bashers, they're mean-spirited, they're intolerant. ... Well, we're not

Rick is not so much misrepresenting what his critics say as misrepresenting himself and his allies as the avatars of marriage. Criticize them as haters and you have cast marriage, as they seek to forever preserve it, as a hateful thing. Because (remember) they are marriage.

There's a lot of this grandiose conflation loose in the world. This argument especially is swirling with it. If Santorum's car was bigger the entire bumper sticker would read:

Marriage=Adam and Eve=Civilization=America=Everything Good That Ever Was Or Ever Will Be=FMA=Rick and Karen Santorum and Their Children

Ridicule Rick's FMA sympathies and you are effectively arguing that civilization is malignant, his wife is a basement satanist and his kids are gay.

*Not work-safe.

3:33 AM

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Duff Miver

Instructive parable of Republican family life in Rick Santorum's, and my, Pennsylvania (follow the second link to learn the Paul Harvey detail all the news stories about the case have left out--you will know it when you read it).

He should have taken his daughter to a Willie Nelson concert. She might not have enjoyed it, and he wouldn't have enjoyed as much either, but the music is better, the stoner vibe is relaxing, and he'd still be a drunken judge on the way up:

Judges, don't take your daughters to Hil'ry Duff concerts
Let 'em get there in the neighbor's old truck
Just make 'em hitchhike, train hop and such

11:06 PM

Sunday, July 11, 2004

How the Action Got Started or The Greatest Pyramid

The best part of a Pink's (Pink is a guy, cool) tale of getting the finger from George W. Bush:

The action got started off right when we arrived on the scene, and seven or eight teenage guys decided to "re-enact" the prison abuse scandals in Iraq by stripping down to thongs and making a human pyramid, while donning black hoods. The police officers on the scene immediately tackled them and led them out in handcuffs. It will be interesting to see how that plays out in court.

Yes, interesting every step of the way. In court. In jail. In the police van on the way to jail. In the rec room where they practiced the pyramid. In the arms of their tacklers. In handcuffs being led off. Not a single second of any of it is anything less than completely fascinating. Bravo.

These seven or eight are the Agenda Bender dudes of the day.

May they set an example for the youth of the nation.

(via that other human pyramid, Blogdex)

5:25 PM