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The Public Blogging of Pomosexuality, Homotextuality, Homophobiaphilia, and Drear Theory (aka Career Theory) [aka Gay4Pay]. We also read the Corner and OpJournal so the right buttock will be punished as well. All comments subject to publication. Or dismissal. Or Both.


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Agenda Bender
Saturday, August 14, 2004  

Where the Uranians Are

I so needed a laugh these last 36 hours. My spam correspondent, Easy Dating, came closest to giving me one with this email header:

Find other homosexuals online now

Thanks, Easy-D, nice try, but I'm a tough crowd at the moment.

10:20 PM

Thursday, August 12, 2004

I Blame Walt Whitman

It's been quite a day for hella interesting headlines. I'd call this a more than fair trade for this.

Two questions:

1. Do I get to be governor now? I'm willing to relocate. I mean it's just across the river, anyway.

2. Will Andrew S. roll out of his damn hammock over this?

(I believe one of these is a yes and one a no.)

OK, one more question. This one is not a simple yes or no. It calls for more of a speculative essay:

What might the real story behind this always curious incident be?

Update: Lookie here, Jonah Goldberg has a question, too:

I suppose we should wait a respectable period of time before the jokes start?

I suppose so, JG. Like say maybe the same respectable nine months your parents waited for their little joke to start.

Update II: Ain't there one damn speech that can make me breakdown and cry-yyy?

What I keep singing tonight:

All night
His a gay American
Gay American, gay American, he is a gay American,
All right,
He is a gay American

6:56 PM


Stagger Lee Vs. Chatterjee

One hell of an attention grabbing headline link at Google News. The page it takes you to is a small wonder of misty atmospherics.

I'm working on a tuppenny broadside ballad to be hawked beneath the gallows, wherever they end up being. I'm working backwards from the ending:

There will be no Dhananjoy in Kolkata
When Chatterjee is hung

It would help if I had a half dozen facts or so to flesh it out. But I will not be deterred, Chatterjee's story must be told.

And sold.

2:00 PM


Stem Cell Research Backfires--Fetuses Take Over Earth, Elect Gary Bauer Leader

Gene Blocker Turns Monkeys Into Workaholics - Study

12:05 AM

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

What's Iorworth?

Iorworth Hoare lost the name lottery in a dazzling way. His career as a rapist was star-crossed as well. But now that he has won $13,000,000 (dig that 13) during his weekend furlough from life imprisonment (dig that innovation in British penology), it would appear Ior's unlucky streak is erasing itself, and his life has turned the corner. Just hope that you aren't female and taking that corner in the other direction as Ior comes strolling along, flush with cash, on his next weekend out.

Or maybe the joke's on Mr. Hoare.

Scholars of true-crime, such as me own bloody self, will recall that this is not the first time lady luck got pimped out to a criminal nogoodnik. There was that kid who beat his lovely, elderly neighbor to death while she took her evening walk around their MacMansioned MacDevelopment. His parents won the lottery and financed his diminished-capacity-due-to-anti-depressants defense with their winnings.

Scholars of true-crime with better memories than me own bloody self might even remember what the outcome was.

1:41 PM

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Let it Beach or Mashup on Abbey Road

Even the best mashups are usually more interesting than exciting. Here is one that is more exciting than interesting. It's interesting too, but exciting enough to make you forget about analyzing it. It's a 6mb download that might disappear soon, but if this could make it to overground vinyl or cd it would be late summer's international dance anthem* and the sound of Athens 04. Actually, I think both licensee's might be willing to give it their blessings and make it legal. One could use the cash and one would love the cred.

The Beatleg Bootles (3.6mb) will most likely never be street legal, and hi-fidelity wise it's a woofer massacre, but you probably need to hear it. I love John Lennon's voice in the first section (The Theme From Cash), and the gimmicks in other sections are amusing. The second bit is the best though. The only known track by the greatest-band-never, the Beachles. Submarine John B., I calls it. Some very moving harmonic accidents and accidental harmonics are therein revealed. It could make me cry, in the right circumstances. May those circumstances stay away from my door.

*Except on those wayward parts of the globe that insist it's really late winter.

(Both via the very worthy GoHomeProductions)

8:51 PM


The Goss and Mr. Bush

Bush's nominee for director of the CIA has the perfect spook name, the quintessential mix of spectral and Yale, Porter Goss.

(I give myself goosebumps, I wrote this before seeing this.)

Update: The pronunciation of Goss is closer to Gauze than to Ghost, but it works as a visual/aural allusion either way, and somewhat to Golf, Gods, Gas, Gosh and Guess, as well. It only gets perfecter.

3:46 PM

Sunday, August 08, 2004

Implements of Old-Fashioned Game Used To Avenge Suspected Theft of New-Fangled Game Implement

Here's hoping the murdered make it to level heaven and the killers to level hell.

1:44 PM