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The Public Blogging of Pomosexuality, Homotextuality, Homophobiaphilia, and Drear Theory (aka Career Theory) [aka Gay4Pay]. We also read the Corner and OpJournal so the right buttock will be punished as well.
All comments subject to publication. Or dismissal. Or Both.
I realized something while watching Stella Dallas (1937) on Turner the other day. Ruth Gordon recycled Barabara Stanwyck's portrayal of Stella when she played Mrs. Castavet fifty years later in Rosemary's Baby (1968). Mrs. Castavet also picked up some of Mrs. Dallas's old cha-cha togs at a rummage sale down' the Satanic tabernacle. If you should doubt me, you should first be ashamed, and secondly you should wear your cloak of shame to the video store where the proof of my insight is on the shelves awaiting your purchase or rental.
You'll want to watch Stella first, then Rosemary, then Stella again. And you'll need to do this as many times as it takes for you to relent and grant me my point.
Parastone Studios is an outnetherlandish enterprise which renders figures and objects from assorted famous paintings in three dimensions, it knocks the flat out of 'em (they want only full animation and Turing implants now.)
They apparently lack a US distributor for their amazing wares. So rent a storefront with a jewelbox display window and give them a call (I'm thinking Las Vegas or West Philadelphia might be best for starters.)
WASHINGTON - Black conservatives who supported President Bush in 2004 and gained new prominence within the Republican Party are launching a loosely knit movement that they hope will transform the role African Americans play in national politics.
...Before the meeting, one prominent minister plans to unveil a "Black Contract With America on Moral Values," a call for Bible-based action by government and churches to promote conservative priorities. It is patterned loosely on the "Contract With America" that former House Speaker Newt Gingrich used 10 years ago to inaugurate an era of GOP dominance in Congress.
...The "Black Contract With America on Moral Values," to be unveiled today in Los Angeles, is designed to help African American churches gain influence in the Republican Party and promote socially conservative legislation. Highlights of the plan include:
PTC Smut Peddlers: Brent Bozell Puts the Dirty Bits Back In
The Parents Television Council has released a report titled MTV Smut Peddlers: Targeting Kids with Sex, Drugs and Alcohol. It's a good raunchy read. A year's worth** of MTV bleeps are decoded and restored. The slower children now have a remedial teaching aid to help them catch up with their swifter peers. Call it The MTV Crib:
Making the Band 3/25/04 10:00 p.m.
Fred: “I say the [bleeped ‘fuck’] what I want to say to you or your [bleeped ‘mother’] fucking husband. Your [bleeped ‘fucking’] husband’s going to get my money before tonight so I can get my shirt. [Bleeped ‘Fuck’] both of ya’ll. [Bleeped ‘Fuck’] that. I was going to say this. If you gotta go home to your kids, let us know cuz we a group. All that [bleeped ‘fuck’] Fred shit.”
Sara: “I didn’t say [bleeped ‘fuck’] Fred. Didn’t nobody say that. I never said that. What the [bleeped ‘fuck’] are you talking about man?”
Fred: “You know what I’m gonna [bleeped ‘fucking’] do? I’m gonna [bleeped ‘fucking’] show you Fred . . . I got [bleeped ‘fucking’] kids.”
Ness: “Shut the [bleeped ‘fuck’] up [bleeped ‘mother fucker’]. Shut the [bleeped ’fuck‘] up [bleeped ‘mother fucker’].”
Sara: "What the [bleeped ‘fuck’] is he saying [bleeped ‘fucking’] Fred for, I never said that [bleeped ‘shit’].”
Eamon – “I Don’t Want You Back”
Chorus (Repeated 5 times):
"[Bleeped ‘Fuck’] what I said it don't mean [bleeped ‘shit’] now
[Bleeped ‘Fuck’] the presents might as well throw ‘em out
[Bleeped ‘Fuck’]all those kisses, they didn't mean jack
[Bleeped ‘Fuck’] you, you [bleeped ‘ho’], I don't want you back"
"You thought you could
Keep this [bleeped ‘shit’] from me, yeah
Ya burnt [bleeped ‘bitch’] I heard the story*
Ya played me, ya even gave him [bleeped ‘head’]
"It hurts real bad, I can’t sweat that, cuz I loved a [bleeped ‘ho’].”
[Note: All bleeps were a sound bite of a woman moaning.]
Pete Pablo – “Freak-a-Leak”
...[Bleeped ‘Sniff a lil’ coke, take a lil’ X, smoke a lil’ weed,’] drink a lil’ bit
I need a girl I could freak with
and wanna try [bleeped ‘shit’] and ain't scared of a big [bleeped ‘dick’]
And love to get her [bleeped ‘pussy’] licked by another [bleeped ‘bitch’]
Cause I ain't drunk enough to do that [bleeped ‘shit’]
The PTC video synopses are a godsend to the visually impaired, too.
Britney Spears – “Toxic”
...Cut to a scene in a bedroom. Britney pushes a man wearing a suit onto a bed and climbs on top of him. She rubs her hand down his chest and stomach, and pulls up on his belt, throwing him off the bed. She straddles him and kisses him while he's lying on the floor. She pours poison into his mouth, leers at the camera, shuts his mouth, gives him a quick peck on the lips, and leaves. He dies.
*This line inspired the behind-her-back-nick for L. Brent Bozell at PTC HQ, Burnt Bitch Bozell.
**Correction: The study only covered 171 hours of programming, or just over a week. So they fell a little short of a year.
I must now wonder about their methods and findings overall. They claim that within that 171 hours there was 109 hours of music video programming. Yeah, in 1995, maybe. PTC must be in possession of a magic televison, there is just no f[sound of a woman moaning]ing way music videos comprise 63% of MTV's schedule. Or maybe my TV set is watching me and MTV switches to vids every time I tune away.
With Wilmer Valderrama as Dipendra, and Featuring Woody Allen as Maheshwar
Everybody's favorite Royal Family, the appalling Shahs of Nepal, are back in the news. When we last left the high-altitude blue bloods in 2001, nine or so of them were lying dead on the palace floor, the reigning king among them, all gunned down by heir apparent Prince Dipendra. The highlight of Time Magazine's coverage of that evening's events:
The party began at 7:30 and the guests were on time. The younger set included Dipendra and his cousin Prince Paras...
The King came into the billiards room after his son had left. But when Dipendra returned, he walked straight up to him to perform his act of regicide without any sign of intoxication. At the first burst of fire, "I instinctively plugged my ears with my fingers and closed my eyes," recalls Maheshwar. Opening his eyes, he found the King "had a very strange look on his face, and then he began to lean to the right."
Now that bloodbath's cui bono boy, King Gyanendra--who was on a bit a vac when Dipendra went beserkers, has sacked the government and taken over himself. The Peoples Republic of China sounds an understanding note:
BEIJING, Feb. 1 (Xinhuanet) -- China respects the choice of Nepalese in developing their own country and sincerely wishes the nation to realize social security, economic development and ethnic pacification, Foreign Ministry spokesman Kong Quan told a regular press conference here Tuesday.
He made this remark when asked to comment on Nepal's King Gyanendra's Tuesday announcement of dissolving the coalition government led by Prime Minister Sher Bahadur Deuba and forming a new government under his own "chairmanship".
Calling this decision "an internal affair of Nepal," Kong said that China will respect Nepalese people's option on how to develop their own country.
Strange, no shouts outs from the Communist Chinese Foreign Minister to the Maoist insurgency that provides the pretext for Gyanendra's power lift.
For those we must turn to the Revolutionary Worker Online. This page collects their somewhat dated dispatches from the Nepalese revolutionary frontlines. I am slowly working my way through their interview with Comrade Prachanda, big chief muckety-muck of the Communist Party of Nepal. Yes, very slowly:
Prachanda: It was 1986, I think, when we finalized Marxism-Leninism-Maoism as our ideology. At the time, only the Communist Party of Peru had said this, and we had some documents from the PCP. But on that question, already for four or five years, there had been some discussion about: Why Mao Tsetung Thought? Why not Maoism? That kind of discussion had been going on inside our party. We had a debate for one year to change this terminology and then the whole party adopted Marxism-Leninism-Maoism as our ideology. It was not only a change of terminology, it was our understanding of Mao's contribution. We also defined the People's War and our military line, our political line. And this is our ideological, political, subjective basis. At the same time, class struggle was developing, and, in the circumstances of that class struggle and the two-line struggle, we were able to see the objective and subjective situation to initiate the People's War.
Oh to have been a fly on the wall, or the fly on Comrade Prachanda's boxers, for the four or five years they kicked around the Why-Mao-Tsetung-Thought? Why-not-Maoism? question.
The interview with Comrade P. is titled Red Flag Flying on the Roof of the World, which makes me hungry for Pizza Hut for some reason. It is the first and only thing that has ever made me hungry for Pizza Hut. So there is some powerful voodoo there.
Update: And I forgot, it all reminds me of the joke with a thousand faces. Which in turn reminds me that heuristocrats, my coinage-in-search-of-a-need, has yet to take off. Perhaps because I've never uttered it aloud until now. Though probably not.
..."It's the first drug in the history of the United States we can make, distribute, sell, take, all here in the Midwest," said Detective Jason Grellner, of the Franklin County Sheriff's Department in Missouri, who seized 120 meth labs last year
...The problem descended on rural America with shocking suddenness. Sheriff Randy Krukow of Clay County in western Iowa said that in 1999, he had detected not a single meth-producing laboratory. By 2001, his force had broken up 56 in a county with a population of only 18,000.
..."This is the most serious law enforcement problem we've ever faced in the history of our state because this substance is so addictive and so easy and cheap to make," said North Dakota Attorney General Wayne Stenehjem.
...Wyoming Gov. Dave Freudenthal recently told a statewide conference on combating the drug: "It doesn't matter where we go in the state, methamphetamine is there. The whole issue is eating us alive."
...A study issued last month by the Sam Walton College of Business at the University of Arkansas studied methamphetamine use in Benton County, the home of retailing giant Walmart Stores Inc. The survey found that lost productivity and absenteeism because of methamphetamine addiction was costing employers there more than $21 million a year.
Red/Blue, Black/White, Gay/Straight, Rural/Metro, Walmart/Crate and Barrel. The crystal meth convergence approacheth. The tweaked shall inherit the earth. Then burn it down in one lost weekend.
There is news today of what must certainly be the greatest scientific undertaking of the modern era, though the tone of this synopsis is far too chummy for my taste. Show some respect, you snarky prick:
A new study found that male monkeys will give up their juice rewards in order to ogle pictures of female monkey's bottoms. The way the experiment was set up, the act is akin to paying for the images, the researchers say.
The rhesus macaque monkeys also splurged on photos of top-dog counterparts, the high-ranking primates. Maybe that's like you or me buying People magazine.
The research, which will be detailed in the March issue of Current Biology, gets more interesting.
The scientists actually had to pay these guys, in the form of extra juice, to get them to look at images of lower-ranking monkeys.
My bid to bump this blog into the big leagues, Google bait for horny monkey boys:
Barely Rhesus Hairy Whores!
Strap On Simian Sluts!
Howler Monkey Girls Like it Loud!
College Cheerleader Chimps Willing to Do Anything and Anyone!
Let Her Rock Your Over-Ripe Banana!
High School Marmosex Party!
Mandrills and Tool Time Girls!
This Horny Proto-Human is One Great Ape!
Hominid Cutie Sleepover Orgy!
Tree Hanging Chix Really Swing!
Gotta-Have-It Tamarin Can't Keep Her Tail Down!
Haplorrhine Good Time Girls, Their Noses Won't Be Dry For Long!
Spider Monkeys F*ck Their Little Brains Out!
Lower-Mammal Mammaries for Days!
Bare-Ass Baboon Bitches!
Macaque Bukaki Marathon!
Tiny Titty Red-Bellied Titis Show What They Got!
Knuckle Dragging Co-eds Go All The Way Down!