To the Dogwood Prince: A Poem in Chat

u are a quitter
pure and simple
if dr moreau had that aint-gonna-happen attitude
then things wouldn't have gone so horribly wrong
sure, malign a great man
for his small mistakes
typical phoenixville spite
i hope u grow a tail and snout
and furry tongue and pincers

oh, i forgot to tell you
when i was like 4 or 5,
i was the dogwood prince
dude u fukn lie
that is so perfect

i thought you'd like that
i have the crown still
omg ur like pagan royalty
i mean omp, oh my pan
how u get picked?
the other boys have to die?
they like post the pictures
whoever gets the most votes -
a penny equals one vote - wins

ur ma
pimped u out
in other words
i prefer to think
i was the handsomest
of the bunch
prefer away
quasimodo
hahaha
asshole

Oh, my penny-a-vote dogwood prince
I kiss ur leaves
ur branches
ur trunk
ur roots
and u are on for that movie
if they are ever wise enough to make it
Clueless Vs Mean Girls:
The Final Shopping Spree